Saddest or Happiest Passover of all time...

Dear Mommy,

As of 3pm this afternoon, Israel officially went on lockdown for the next two days or so banning all movement between cities and movement beyond 100 meters from your front door. Police and Army presence was seen and felt as streets were empty, barriers were set up, and cars were being stopped around the city.

Indeed this is a weird time we are living in...it's lonely, sad, and be difficult for the mental health of many of us. However, through most of this mess I have chosen to be thankful, grateful, and appreciative. Thankful to have family and friends that are there whenever I need. Grateful to be working enough to make ends meet and still eat ;P. And appreciative of the fact that I am healthy during this pandemic. (especially given the fact that I had traveled to a variety of cities/states/country in what seems like ages ago).

However, Passover at first didn't seem like a big deal to me. It would be weird, and different, and something we certainly will all remember for a very long time, but it would be fine. It would come and it would go like so many other things. For me, the holidays are full of incredibly mixed emotions, most of which I don't deal with very well. But to say the holidays are difficult for is an understatement. So to not have to deal with prep for a seder was a relief, to not have to get dressed up, think about entertaining, and all the other things that come with seder was certainly at first a nice relief. But as Passover quickly approached, the feelings slowly started to make their way to the surface. What was seder without friends and family? How should I mark tonight as special and different? Do I still go through with making a seder for one? Was that even worth it?

The more these feelings started to take over, I was met with feelings of reassurance from every aspect of life that everyone was feeling it too. It wasn't just me. And that was a relief. Yes, tonight will be difficult, lonely, and weird, but it will also be unique, special, interesting and can be fun. I have my kosher for Pesach wine and tequila on hand. Thank you to amazing family, I have food for tonight, there's always the 'Prince of Egypt' to bring Passover to life, as well as some texts and readings I have on deck.

Even better, being in Israel I only have to do this one night (haha) so suckers, sorry for the rest of you... but thank god!

So, take a deep breathe, yes it's going to suck in ways we can't even begin to comprehend, but it will also be quiet, retrospective, and an opportunity to find ways to make this night different than all others. Even with the empty seats around the table (or couch), send your love, send your virtual hugs and kisses, and know that you are not alone. Count your blessings and appreciate all that we are fortunate enough to have and celebrate each and every day.

Sending love, chag sameach, happy passover, and health and happiness across the world. <3

#passoverinquarantine #chagsameach #whatdayareweatanyways #fourglassesisntenough #isitsummeryet